This has been a very bad week. Again, I had a mayor depressive episode and I asked to my hubby to take me to the hospital. I don't know what triggered it. May be the lack of medicines during the Summer, the stress of loosing my pension, my house and even loosing the nice relationship with my younger sister... Definitively, this year has been one of the worst in my life.
I really need a break!!! I feel like in a circle where I can't get out. I can't seem to find solutions to the probles and they look like each day that pass they grow more.
In the hospital they changed the antidepressant from Zoloft to Lexapro. et see how this one works. At least now I'm a little more relax and I'm not thinking in stupids thoughts of death. Yes, I have had thoughts of suicide several times in my life and even tried 2 times. I know what everybody say: "Suicide is not the solution". But when you're really depress and you don't see a "break" through the problems and you don't have a lot of support, suicide is the only thing that seems to resolve your problems. What else is left when you don't have health, money, family love or support, you can't work...? What else is left in your life?
I'm going to be dealing with this depression and I'll stick to the treatment. The day after tomorrow I'll go to the new doctor...
I hope that next year be a better one!